Dumb Dynasty
by TateThePowerpuffFan
Summary: A recently-rediscovered prophecy fortells the story of a new, modern-day monarch to rule all of Townsville... unfortunately for everyone, that certain someone is Boomer Jojo. With this newly-obtained power, Boomer goes on a power spree, turning his friends into servants and going ballistic with authority.
1. Pr-off-ecy

**Disclaimer by Brick: This author in no way owns The Powerpuff Girls, or any songs mentioned. Also, the name is not to imply any negative connotation towards the Robertson family on _Duck Dynasty_. They are awesome people.**

* * *

**Chapter 1: Pr-off-ecy**

**Brick's POV**

It was just another Saturday of binge soda-drinking and making out with the Powerpuff Girls, our nemesis-turned-girlfriends. Mojo was gone, as always, in the slammer. Productivity was bankrupt, and the house was littered in empty chip bags, which were half-empty to begin with. Suddenly, someone buzzed on the door. This was odd, since we never have any visitors aside from the Girls, and most people for some reason are still too terrified to send or deliver us any mail. Curiosity was strangling me, so I hopped up from my comfortable recline and answered the door. A man in a tailed suit and a top hat, complete with a monacle and shiny Italian leather boots. He was a class sandwich with all the ingredients.

"Excuse me, young man," he started. Oh man, he was one of those overly-gentlemanly types, "is this the Mojo residence?"

"Yeah, whose asking?"

"I am. May I please step in and speak with your father?"

"He's in prison."

"Well, I suppose that it will do no harm to divulge the information that I have obtained, for it regards you boys. His sons." He strutted inside, removing his shoes, and extracted a scroll that had been concealed under his coat. Now, I've watched enough movies and TV shows to understand that when someone busts out a medieval-looking scroll, something legit is bound to be revealed. The mysterious figure unfurled the scripture, cleared his throat, and began.

"On behalf of the family tree of the Mojo hierarchy of pre-1998 history, it has come to our attention that you are part of a rather extensive royal family. Now, after all this time, the power of your ancestors must be transferred down to one of you three."

"Um... power, sir?"

"Indeed. The power of royalty. A long lost prophecy has revealed that one day, one of you three boys would be handed the power of your royal ancestors, thus resurrecting a monarchy in which all must obey."

"That sounds... awesome."

"Indeed."

"So, who becomes the ruler of Townsville? It had better be me!"

"No way, brother!" Butch shouted from the pantry, "Just because you're the self-proclaimed leader doesn't mean you deserve to be a monarch!"

"Shaddap, vomit sniffer!..." I snapped back, then turned once more towards the man. "So let me guess, the boy in the red hat and hoodie was destined to lead the land," I smirked in triumph.

"Hey guyth! Whoth thath guy?" Boomer stepped out of the bathroom, brushing his teeth.

"The scroll speaks of a 'boy in blue,' who rises above those who look down upon him, and claim the highest stoop of the Jojo name." My eyes shrank in disbelief.

"Y-y-y-you mean... B-B-B-B-**_Boomer_**... is **_king_**?" Boomer stood there, frozen in his steps. His toothbrush slipped out of his mouth and clacked on the floor. A massive smile hugged his face.

"**_Shapwingwingwing!_**" He jumped and powerslid into the foyer. Freddie Mercury would be proud of his triumphant dance moves. "**_I'm the ruler of all you suckers!_**"

"Oh, God help us," Butch muttered in terror, slowly retreating back into the pantry.


	2. Everybody's Working For The Meathead

**Chapter 2: Everybody's Working For The Meathead**

**Butch's POV**

A giant parade had been arranged for the commemoration of our brother as the "king." This all sounded very peculiar to me, because how could we even be in Mojo's bloodline if we were created out of scraps from around the town prison?

A gigantic "float" which looked more like a ship slowly trickled it's way down Main. A rather large sculpture of Boomer's head (which was about a third of the actual float) rested upon the bow, and my idiot brother was perched atop, cheering and making the peace sign with his hands and whatnot. I'm almost certain that he had no idea as to what was going on, but he just continued doing one of the things he does best; going with it.

As Brick and I pouted off to the side, a familiar zooming sound took up residence deep within our ear canals. We turned around to face the sky, and sure enough, it was the Powerpuff Girls, our short-lived foes and longtime friends (not to mention our **_girl_**friends, as well). They gracefully landed before us and attempted to peek over our shoulders to catch a glimpse of the parade (although they totally could've just done so while they were floating a couple seconds ago).

"Hello, Brick" Blossom smiled as she spoke. He smiled and responded the same.

"Hello, Butch" Buttercup greeted me. I gave her my "Dirty Harry" look in response, and she started to laugh (she loves it when I bust out the "Dirty Harry stare").

"Where's Boomer? I want to say 'hello' to him, too!" Bubbles asked us, seemingly upset. She quickly shifted her attention towards the massive parade. "What's with all the commotion?"

"It's to celebrate our new 'leader;' the one who will inevitably make this city a 'better place," I told her, making air quotes to emphasize the concern... and sarcasm.

"Don't 'air quote' me, Butch. I have no idea what you mean when you 'air quote' things!" Bubbles warned me, making air quotes.

"He means that life is gonna suck for all of us, very, very soon."

"Come again."

"**_Boomer is the king of Townsville,_**" Brick amplified with much aggression and agitation present. The Girls' mouths fell agape. Bubbles was the first to speak up, again.

"**_How?_**"

"Apparently, it has been foretold that Townsville was to receive a new heir to the 'throne,' and it narrowed itself down to the Jojo bloodline... and then, it somehow declared **_Boomer_** to be the newest monarch... It's a rather weird story."

"Well then... whoever foretold all of this has completely doomed us all," Buttercup winced as she folded her arms. "Boomer is seriously the worst candidate for any position to possess power of any amount."

"I'm in love with him, but even **_I_** have to agree with that," Bubbles nervously admitted. "He's just not all that bright. Remember that time in eighth grade when we did that history group presentation project on the Alamo, and instead of dressing up as Santa Anna, he came dressed as Ché Guevara? Then when we told him that he wasn't Santa Anna, he asked '_what's the difference?_"

"That was one of the most humiliating moments of my social life," Brick shivered. "I thought the teacher was gonna drop a lung from laughing so hard. Do you remember what grade we got on that because of him?"

"_**Thirty-four,**_" we all said in unison.

"Exactly, and that's the exact same guy who's about to assume power over _**everybody in town!**"_


End file.
